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Self-Honesty

Home / Living Principles / Self-Honesty
Article, Emotional Turmoil, Self-Honesty

Frozen in the Face of a Life Changing Decision

by Maiteon 12th Apr 201912th Apr 20192 Comments on Frozen in the Face of a Life Changing Decision

A few months ago we were faced with an important decision: whether or not we would be staying in South Africa where we have built our lives over the course of the past 10 years, or whether we would leave the country. A decision of this magnitude that pertains to uprooting your life and raises …

Eyes of Animals and Child
Article, Emotional Turmoil, Self-Honesty

Redemption through the Innocent

by Leilaon 15th Nov 201815th Nov 20181 Comment on Redemption through the Innocent

A theme that has been recurring in my life is that of redeeming myself through the eyes of those whom I deem innocent. For most of my life, animals were my main target for this quest. As a child, I would look into the eyes of animals and would see a well of innocence in …

  • When Cesar got his first bycicle this week it quickly became clear that we'd have to get one for Syntia too. So, yesterday we took her to the shop and we told her she'd get to pick out her own bike. When we showed her a bike her size she was at first psyched about it, but she also noticed many other vehicles for little ones. And after trying out some of the other ones, she didn't want anything to do with the bycicle anymore. Lj and I explained why we'd suggested an actual bycicle over a ride on toy car, but she'd already made up her mind. We considered our options for a moment. We knew that coming home and seeing Cesar's bike again, she might want to ride one of those instead, we also knew a bike would last her longer and that she'd want to go with on bike rides, but... we'd also said she'd get to pick. We could have waltzed through her choice and gotten her the bike we thought was best, but then we'd be undermining her and ourselves as well by not living our words. While we could see the potential of her enjoying riding a bike, knowing that yes, it would take a learning curve but she'd also get the hang of it quite quickly, that was just not where she was at. I also remembered so many times being told I would get to choose something and when push came to shove, someone else made the final call and usually it wasn't what I had chosen. They would have good reasons and considerations for it, but it didn't give me the chance to figure those out for myself. So, a push car it is. Indeed, when she saw Cesar's bike, she wanted to ride one of those again and yes, when Gian and Cesar went out on a bike ride last night she wanted to go with and she couldn't keep up, but she's also enjoyed hours playing with her push car. We reminded her of her choice and what the natural consequences and limitations are. There was no tantrums or drama, she understood and accepted responsibility for her choice. When she's ready to make the switch, we'll be here to support her.
  • Leila and I had been talking about getting chalks to do drawings on the floor with the kids, but we'd either keep forgetting to look for them or when we did remember, the shops we were at didn't have them. Then one day Syntia was playing with what looked like a black rock that she'd found, and as she was scratching it on the floor, it was drawing black lines. I looked at the 'rock' a bit closer and it turned out to be a small shard of charcoal, a remnant from our last braai. Since then we've been using charcoal to make drawings on the pavement. All the time we were waiting to get 'the right tool' to draw with, we had a perfectly capable alternative readily available. It was a good reminder not to wait for the supposedly 'perfect conditions' or 'perfect tools' before starting or doing something I've been wanting to do. You know those thoughts where you go 'oh but once I have this or that sorted, it will be so much easier to get going on that other point'. And then when this and that is sorted, this other point doesn't at all seem to be easier to get started on, lol. How often in our lives do we put things off because of the so-called circumstances not being ideal? Convincing ourselves that it just wasn't the right time, that things just didn't work out or that we just didn't have access to what we needed to do it properly... No matter when or with what we eventually get started, what will always be the most crucial part is that self-movement, that decision, that initiative and that self-will... to just start.
  • A few months ago we were faced with an important decision: whether or not we would be staying in South Africa where we have built our lives over the course of the past 10 years, or whether we would leave the country. A decision of this magnitude that pertains to uprooting your life and raises questions about your continued livelihood, tends to activate all sorts of fears and survival programming. As parents we make decisions on behalf of others all the time. Sometimes these are small decisions, sometimes they will forever change the course of not only our own lives, but that of others as well. When I found myself faced with this a decision, one that did not only involve me, my children, my animals, but also the lives of others in the community we’ve been living in – I felt overcome by insecurity, doubt and worry. What took me by surprise the most was not the extent of the decision, or the plethora of factors and dimensions we needed to consider, the multitude of options we needed to explore and compute... it was ME: seeing that I didn’t have anything to stand on. It wasn’t so much the decision making itself that I feared, it was not knowing how to even approach such a decision and trust myself within it. Link to the blog in bio.. . . #decisionmaking #decisions #emigrating #feelinginqdequate #frozen #hotomakeadecision #leavingmycountry #leavingmyhome #lifechanges #lifechangingdecisions #lost #overwhelmed #panama #south africa #principles #selfhonesty #startingover #unrest #walkingintotheunknown
  • In South Africa we sometimes get loadshedding where the electricity gets turned off for a couple of hours at a time to take off pressure from the power grid when it's under strain. We decided it was an opportune time to shed some loads off and go to our little dam that filled up nicely with the summer rains. We brought the dogs too this time. Cesar insisted to take the lead with Nibble. Some things are timeless in their simplicity and enjoyment. We took swims in rivers, lakes and dams throughout history and its still a hit. Some things remain important no matter how much external evolution takes place - though we sometimes get distracted by all the new possibilities that we forget the core values that stand through time that brought them about. We may become caught up in social media popularity - forgetting the initial value of authenticity and true connection within relationships. A phone can keep communication going and keep you connected to people you care about - or it can become exactly that which removes you from having real present moments with those you care deeply and are closest to you. Take a moment to evaluate the role of all the resources that are present in your reality and evaluate your relationship, your starting point in why and how you use them. The tool is never the problem, it's the one who wields it that determines its effect. Do your tools serve you, or do you live to serve your tools? #loadshedding #southafrica #parenting #motherhood #values #history #evolution #timeless #service #technology #slowdown #unschooling #homeschooling #wildschooling #consciousparenting #awareness #awareparenting
  • ✨ New Podcast from Maite✨ - Link in Bio!
  • That moment where you walk into a random art installation by your 5 year old on your way to the laundry room #parenting #artinstallation #random #alwaysfullofsurprises #balance #weird #butimpressive #kids #children #selfdirectedlearning #whynot #unschooling #livingislearning #worldsaplayground
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