If you are not yet familiar with Self-Forgiveness, we suggest that you start off by reading the page Letting Go of the Old so that you can gain perspective, context and understanding on our use of Self-Forgiveness.
Inner Child, Outer Child
Seeing the type of mother I want to be for Syntia and all the ways I am willing to support her, has been a great source of inspiration to change my relationship with myself. In this podcast, I share an experience that came up when Syntia was sick (those challenging times tend to really bring …
![Cesar gave Syntia his train tracks about a year ago, and before they were hers, she would play with them together with Cesar. She's had a ton of time to learn the different pieces, how to put them together and build a track, but for some reason, she DID NOT want to build a track by herself and most of all preferred to just watch as someone else built the track for her.
Lj and I knew she was perfectly capable of building a track for herself and we tried to support her to start small and show herself that she can do it. Or that we'd be here if she gets stuck, but she can at least try on her own. Any such attempts, however, were met with an absolute and firm refusal. So, we did it with her, or for her.
We started wondering, is this little girl really just taking advantage of us at this point? Are we entertaining this too much? Should we push harder? We knew she could do it, she knew she could do it, but for some reason she just didn't want to do it, at least, not yet.
And then one day, out of the blue, she takes out her blocks and starts building a track... by herself. Lj quietly waived me over, pointing at her, then signing 'shhht', lol - didn't want to disturb the moment. The track you see in the pic is the first one she built by herself. It wasn't a "beginner's" track like a simple circle or a straight line, it was a more intricate design laid out exactly and precisely how she wanted it to be, including all the elements she wanted to have as a part of it. Kabam, out of the blue.
There are other things where Syntia 'took her sweet time', like learning how to walk and potty training, where it was clear at some point that she was able to do it, but for some reason, pulled back or didn't want to do it all by herself just yet. It's so easy as parents to freak out over that, to think that children should develop skills in a particular way, like 'starting small' or doing something by yourself as soon as you're able to. But not all kids are the same in this. [Continued in comments..]](https://scontent-dfw5-1.cdninstagram.com/v/t51.29350-15/135216034_868657797266702_107582540258970761_n.jpg?_nc_cat=105&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=c4dd86&_nc_ohc=Z1V8WJUUqosAX-4LmjA&_nc_ht=scontent-dfw5-1.cdninstagram.com&edm=ANo9K5cEAAAA&oh=00_AfCJjAXVxtNiIi6gvUUl0MZd6cdkXtaHW6r2JeZgYPVE-A&oe=64DB2E92)
